As I continue to integrate the teachings of the Law of One, it continually rubs heads with my persisting programming.
In this dream, it is clearly a battle between service to self and service to others. Despite the karmic risk, I choose to fight back against my attacker. I don’t know the ultimate consequences of that. Is my defense of my physical form karmic balancing in the works? Am I to show my attacker Love in the form of violence or nonviolence?
This debate is a reflection of the constant debate that I have with myself, as I become more aware of myself, over what what does service to other-self look like. I have spent most of my life under a service to self program. I was taught to be independent, to rely of no one because the will let you down when it matters most, to not trust anyone with your secrets because they will use them against you, and more. I grew up as an only child and moved a lot. Sharing was a foreign concept to me until grade school. You get the idea.
Over the years, I have been trying to make a way for myself and find my place but I keep finding that I don’t really belong at least not for long. I feel disconnected from a community and am grateful for the few amazing friends who see a light in me worth encouraging. The Law of One has really been laying the framework of a new way of looking at the world and a new way of being. It doesn’t have all of the answers but it gets me started.
It reminds me of altruism. I learned about it in a college philosophy class when contrasted it with egoism. I strongly felt that I was certainly egoistic and felt repulsed by altruism. I now know that was because of my programming.
Now that I am aware, I get to choose. I will continue to choose the world. The idea of separateness is an illusion. We are One.