depression

Spiritual Breadcrumbs

I woke up this morning feeling. Every single day since the Fit for Service summit ended, I have felt a different emotion. I like to see that as detoxing and aligning. I remembered my ethos statement from months past. There was a line that said “when I need spiritual guidance, I read the Law of […]

The Fool

Whats difficult about this current phase of awareness, healing, and rebirth is that I have an audience here to witness it. I’m not just at home by myself. I’m surrounded by people. I’m active on social media. There is no where to hide. And I remember making it very hard for me to hide. My […]

My Journey to Fit for Sevice and Where I’m Headed Next

My journey of self-realization started way back when I lived in Iowa City. I was dating a man, working for an insurance company, and struggling with depression. I made a choice for me: move to Arizona and pursue my career alone. About 3 months after I moved, my boyfriend at the time broke up with […]

Depression

I’ve been feeling depressed for about 2 weeks. ●Why am I depressed? Self-generated lack of clarityLack of control over fear-slanging ego who says I am not enough and don’t have enough ●What does being depressed look like (for me)?Avoiding emotions through foodOversized portions + comfort foodNot talking to people (hermit mode)Not taking care of personal […]

Moving Through Depression

Today, I was happy. I woke up with a pit in my stomach. A souring void of a pit. My throat burned in silence. So I talked about itI read my ethosI ate breakfastI took a napI pleasured myselfI did and gave the gift of a yoga sessionI recieved the gift of cherries, strawberries, plums, […]

This is the first line of my personal ethos.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It reminds me why I’m roadtripping while technically homeless, and jobless.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀In the face of heart-pounding anxiety, I see the work.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀When I’m trapped in the mirrors of trauma of my mind on a mushroom trip, I smile and laugh with gratitude. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀What is it all for…this life…if not […]

“Split”

I find myself clinging to the old me the me that I’ve been the me that I was a moment ago picking up old emotions with farmiliar feels and faces. I slip into the established me like a well-worn pair of jeans though now I’ve changed shape and wearing them wearing that old self feels […]

“Growing”

The “I” is changing. Each layer that comes off burns away slowly. Growing Pains. With the lighter in my hand I go back and forth with myself about what I will do knowing that I must set a part of myself free from the hold of the old. Its inevitable. At least thats how it […]

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