depression

The Fool

Whats difficult about this current phase of awareness, healing, and rebirth is that I have an audience here to witness it. I’m not just at home by myself. I’m surrounded by people. I’m active on social media. There is no where to hide. And I remember making it very hard for me to hide. My […]

My Journey to Fit for Sevice and Where I’m Headed Next

My journey of self-realization started way back when I lived in Iowa City. I was dating a man, working for an insurance company, and struggling with depression. I made a choice for me: move to Arizona and pursue my career alone. About 3 months after I moved, my boyfriend at the time broke up with […]

Depression

I’ve been feeling depressed for about 2 weeks. ●Why am I depressed? Self-generated lack of clarityLack of control over fear-slanging ego who says I am not enough and don’t have enough ●What does being depressed look like (for me)?Avoiding emotions through foodOversized portions + comfort foodNot talking to people (hermit mode)Not taking care of personal […]

Moving Through Depression

Today, I was happy. I woke up with a pit in my stomach. A souring void of a pit. My throat burned in silence. So I talked about itI read my ethosI ate breakfastI took a napI pleasured myselfI did and gave the gift of a yoga sessionI recieved the gift of cherries, strawberries, plums, […]

This is the first line of my personal ethos.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It reminds me why I’m roadtripping while technically homeless, and jobless.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀In the face of heart-pounding anxiety, I see the work.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀When I’m trapped in the mirrors of trauma of my mind on a mushroom trip, I smile and laugh with gratitude. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀What is it all for…this life…if not […]

“Speculation”

What have I taken into this body a living thing a body of cells in a capsule does my cell have a soul is that drop of blood is that flake of skin still breathing vibrting can I be encapsulated how quickly does the light diminish when a rose stem is cut when the curly […]

“Let Loose”

I absolutely love it when you use your words my heart swells like an expecting wave when you tell me every single thought that comes to mind my mind reels turning each word to light when you take off the armour I want to get comfortable and let my soul spread out.

“Split”

I find myself clinging to the old me the me that I’ve been the me that I was a moment ago picking up old emotions with farmiliar feels and faces. I slip into the established me like a well-worn pair of jeans though now I’ve changed shape and wearing them wearing that old self feels […]

“Growing”

The “I” is changing. Each layer that comes off burns away slowly. Growing Pains. With the lighter in my hand I go back and forth with myself about what I will do knowing that I must set a part of myself free from the hold of the old. Its inevitable. At least thats how it […]

“Awareness”

What am I? I am simply here I am there is a warm light inside and outside of me there is no difference between inside and outside I am inside and outside of this body sensations come and go like a wave thoughts come and go like a breeze I am a boundless being I […]

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